Breaking up is never a fun experience. What makes it even worse is the desire to get back together. After all, you`re not sure what your ex will think, and you can`t handle the thought of rejection. A lot of that fear stems from not knowing the best way to approach the situation. There are many different ways to do it right, but knowing what not to do can be just as helpful. Here are a few things to avoid to increase your chances of winning back an ex.
1) Lying. Don`t lie about what happened, what your ex did, or anything else. This includes what you say to yourself, say to your ex, or say to other people. The truth has a wonderful way of coming up in ways you don`t expect. Honesty is the only way to go. Even if the truth means you won`t get back together, you still have to tell the truth. It shows respect for your ex and for yourself. If you have to lie, you`re not ready to get back together. Also, all lasting relationships are built on the foundation of trust.
2) Harassment and stalking. There is a fine line between harassment and stalking, but neither one is going to endear you to your ex. You need to give your ex some space for a while. Calling a few times an hour, leaving messages on their voice mail and visiting them at work are just a few examples of things to avoid. You may just want to talk or to get some answers, but you`re going to have to wait and go about the right way. Your ex will let you know when they`re ready to talk, be respectful of their wishes. If the harassment moves into stalking territory, then you may be brought up on criminal charges – definitely not a good way to patch things up.
3) Playing the jealousy card. Television and movies are teeming with examples of characters that start dating somebody else to make their ex jealous. It doesn`t always work at first, but it invariably ends with the ex realizing just how much they need the other person in their lives. But that`s Hollywood, not real life! In reality, you will only be using the new person to make somebody else jealous, and that isn`t cool; they deserve better. Also, your ex will most likely get mad. At the very least it will make a bad situation worse, making getting back together much more difficult…if it happens at all.
4) Giving up. You will never get your ex back if you stop trying to get them back. Sounds obvious, doesn`t it? Yet there are countless cases of couples who were one step away from being happy again, but one of them gave up a bit too soon. Understand that it`s going to take work and commitment to doing things right to have any chance of getting back together. It takes time, but if it ends well, then it`s worth it.