Breaking up sucks! But after the initial sting has worn off it`s quite normal to want to move on to making up. And even though people dream of getting an ex back, they tend to make it a much more complicated process than they have to. It all comes down to one thing: If you`re the type of person your ex likes to be with then they`ll probably take you back. Easy, well, at least in theory.
There`s nothing wrong with the theory, it works. The problem is knowing what type of person you are and if it`s compatible with what your ex is looking for. You can stack the deck in your favor by being a pleasant person to be around. Here are some simple ways that you can be more pleasant and put the theory work for you:
Create new experiences. If you really want to get your ex back, you will have to do everything you can to build a future together. This means doing new things so you can build happy memories. Even the smallest of enjoyments will add up. Over time your ex will link the positive feelings of the event to feeling positive about you. Keep the mood happy, light and positive. Above all, have fun together.
Don`t argue. If you are trying to set the right tone, then do not argue. That produces the wrong kinds of feelings for what you`re trying to accomplish. It conjures up negative associations that your ex will remember (consciously or subconsciously). You can either be right or you can be happy together, not both.
Minimize the negative. One of the difficulties of trying to patch things up is that the past has to be brought up at some point. Something obviously went wrong and you need to be realistic about it. However, you have to be careful that you don`t increase the power of the negative that was there. Address them calmly and matter-of-factly.
Accentuate the positive. Not only are you trying to create new memories, but there must have been good times you shared together, as well. Even if they didn`t last long, you will do well to highlight them. Remember, the more positive your ex feels when they`re with you, the more positive they will feel about you.
You can predict how well the theory mentioned in the beginning will work for you by noticing where your focus is. If it`s on the good things, then you have a better chance; if not, then the theory doesn`t stand much of a chance. Doing the things above will help you be more enjoyable to be around. Stick with it, and you will get your ex back (if you wish) and lead a happier life.