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RELATIONSHIP AGENDA
It is the beginning of a
new year and you and your friends have probably talked about making resolutions
for 2004. It seems like most resolutions are centered on getting in better
physical shape or making more money. But how many of you have ever made a
"relationship resolution?" Does that sound frightening or just silly, or
maybe a combination of both?
First, let’s start with a
dictionary lesson (from Webster):
resolution: a
formal expression of opinion, will or intent
The use of the word
"formal" implies that it must either be spoken aloud to someone or written down
on a piece of paper. Hmmm…now that does sound a bit intimidating, doesn’t it?
What if you tell all your friends that this is going to be the year that you
meet the person with whom you can make a long-term commitment, and at the end of
the year you’re still single? If you keep it inside your head, then you don’t
risk embarrassment.
Maybe using the word "resolution"
is the problem. Maybe we should switch the word to relationship "agenda."
agenda: a list,
outline, or plan of things to be considered or done
That sounds a little better,
doesn’t it? With this definition, you only have to "consider" making a
relationship plan and it doesn’t say anything about sharing it.
So, what is the hesitancy all
about? Maybe it is bad timing. If you’ve just ended a relationship, then the
last thing you should be thinking about is meeting someone new. On the other
hand, the hesitancy may be due to the negative opinions you’ve heard about
"long-term commitment." You may lose popularity with your friends and dating
partner if they find out about your "agenda" of trapping someone in the archaic
institution of marriage.
Or, perhaps it is your
attitude holding you back. Have you noticed how many times you hear marriage
referred to as the "M" word and commitment as the "C" word? It is almost as if
there is shame in saying those words, or maybe it is fear that one will be hit
over the head or struck by lightning.
No one should feel ashamed of
having the desire to live the married lifestyle. Marriage can be a very
positive, loving experience if that is your vision and belief. So go
ahead and make a relationship resolution or agenda, and as you do, keep in mind
the following question,
"If God were to bring
you your ideal partner tomorrow, would you be ready for him/her? If the answer
is ‘no,’ what would you need to do in order to become ready???"
Philippians 4:6
– Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
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