Back to Main
Article Index
 Article:
Find Faults Before it's too Late
Many men and
women find themselves falling into patterns of getting involved with the "wrong"
kind of partner. This may prove to be frustrating, resulting in a helpless
feeling. The question "Why?" is often asked. "Why do I keep getting involved
with the same kind of men/women?" Well, let me tell you. It is because you
aren't looking for early warning signs that signal you to get away. It might
also mean that you are unaware of the warning signs but rationalize their
potential ramifications. Be that as it may, you are attracted to that "bad"
trait or traits in men/women. Consequently, those characteristics lead to
unhealthy relationships.
The only way to
avoid repeating harmful patterns is to be able to recognize the adverse signs
early on. The earlier you see the signs, the easier it is to avoid getting hurt
emotionally. Change is not comfortable. If you want to have a healthy
relationship, you will have to learn to be attracted to a different type of
person. To do this, you need to make slight changes. The easiest is to redirect
your first conversations with people you find attractive. These conversations
should take on a purpose of screening for unwanted traits.
When a woman, for
instance, gets caught up in conversation with an attractive man, it's easy to
get lost in his voice, eyes, touch, and so on. Before you know it, the
conversation meanders without a focus and you have no idea if he shares similar
bad traits as your ex. But, you don't have to let this happen.
You can set your
goal to unveil the man's "crucial topics" issues that broke your previous
relationship's. For instance, if your ex was an alcoholic, keep an eye out for
how much he drinks and how important alcohol is in his life. The key is to be
casual and not make it sound like you're interrogating him. Keep in mind that he
will have no idea what you are thinking, only that you are having light
conversation.
I'm sure you have
the idea: make a point of finding the signs of the relationships that have
impacted your past relationships negatively. Regardless of how attracted you are
to a man, don't rationalize the red flags waving in front of your eyes. Making
excuses for these will lend itself to the same results you had with the last
man-a bad relationship.
Nancy Fagan,
M.S., author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Romance” and “Desirable Men: How
to Find Them.” To read more, visit here at
Expert Love Advice
Back to Top
|
 |
Sign-up
for our FREE Special Report
26 Tips for a Long Lasting Relationship
|
 |
|
HOME