CULTIVATING A PERSONAL GROWTH ATTITUDE

At a lecture I attended a couple of years ago, a woman asked the speaker, "How can you tell if someone is interested in personal growth?" After the speaker gave a somewhat vague answer, I raised my hand and said, "It seems to me that you should be able to simply ask someone if they are interested in personal growth. If they reply with a glazed-over look on their face, then the answer is probably 'no'." However, after giving my response greater thought, I realized that some people may have difficulty answering that question because they are not sure how it is defined.

Thus, for all the people who have attended my workshops who have expressed a desire to find a partner who is interested in personal growth, this article is an attempt to create a solid definition for the term "Personal Growth Attitude."

First, let's break down this phrase word by word with the help of Webster.

personal: relating to an individual's character, conduct, motives or private affairs

growth: progressive development; evolution

attitude: a position assumed for a specific purpose

We could merge the above definitions by saying a Personal Growth Attitude is:

"a belief that an individual's character gradually develops toward maturity over the course of their life"

I believe that people with this kind of attitude always feel like they have more to learn about life. They are eager to take advantage of educational opportunities that help them create fuller, richer lives.

Here is a list of possible educational opportunities. (Put a checkmark by the opportunities you have pursued in order to determine just how bent you are on personal growth.)

_____ Regularly attend a church and truly listen to the sermon (extra points for taking notes)

_____ Occasionally attend talks/lectures by visiting authors

_____ Read books or listen to audio tapes about relationships (extra points for doing the written exercises usually suggested)

_____ Attended a divorce recovery or some type of relationship workshop (extra points for taking notes at each session)

_____ Visited a therapist during a difficult time (extra points for going more than 3 times to the same therapist and doing the recommended homework)

_____ Joined a support group for help during a difficult time

_____ Attended a Bible study, Sunday School or some type of spiritual growth class

_____ Recognizing unhealthy patterns and seeking some type of help to break out of the cycle

It is up to you to decide which of these are important to include in your own definition of personal growth. You can probably think of a few others to add to this list. Just be sure that the list is made up of opportunities that help a person improve their quality of life.

Why is it so important to have a Personal Growth Attitude? Because seldom do our lives go exactly according to plan, and sometimes you need help to work through the sadness, disappointment, anger, etc. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is afraid to seek help when they are having trouble coping with a difficult situation. You do not want to watch them stuff their emotions by wallowing in depression, alcoholism, drugs, infidelity, etc.

Someone who has a Personal Growth Attitude will be more likely to seek help to keep a relationship together during a rough patch, and that is the kind of person with whom you can have a lasting relationship.

Proverbs 1:5 - Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance...

Melody Ellenberger's philosophy is that the greatest amount of personal growth happens in an intimate relationship. Melody's website, SinglesWorkshops.com, was created for the specific purpose of providing relationship education to single adults so that they may be better prepared for creating healthy, lasting relationships.

Online Dating Resources